Today was so maluating its amazing. Just the way to start off the new schooling term. God I want to kill myself. I should have just listened to my mum and stayed at home. Fuck lah.

I was dying of cramps this morning in school but I took a couple of painkillers on the bus so I figured they'd go away soon enough right? Wrong. Morning announcements at assembly took so fucking long. And it hurt so bad I just wanted to crawl up and die. And then I started feeling really dizzy. Can you believe it, I FAINTED in front of the whole damn school. Waking up from it was kinda like a dream. I'm still wondering how high my skirt flew, which also brings back terrible memories from my one day in drama club. It was like, I opened my eyes and there were so many people around me. There was that nice indian teacher asking me if I was okay, and totally reassuring me that I fell in a completely graceful way. I'm gonna nominate her for teacher of the year or something. And like a million people were staring at me lying there on the floor. Fuck I was so damn embarrased. I mean honestly. The last time I fainted I was in a bathroom at KKH dying from dengue. And that was like the only time ever.

Dad rushed to school to pick me up after a few panicked phone calls with a mixture of hysterical sobbing and screaming at him to hurry the hell up. Cramps were so fucking bad. Aileen was with me, honestly thank god for her. I'm so not gonna insult her the rest of the week just for being there for me. She bought milo and soyabean for me, but I didn't drink any. Smell was too gross. Mum injected me in the stomach with some nonsense to numb the pain. Feels weird. And the maid made me throw up all over the place when she showed me her lunch. Chicken leg soup. EWW.

I wanna go see Adrian. I wanna go see grandmama. I wanna go back to school. I wanna do anything except stay at home. Makes me feel sicker only. Maybe I'll sneak past the maid and go for a walk outside.